Riting & Reeling

I'm reeling because of the heartbreaking devastation in Oklahoma City and the pain from saying goodbye to a wonderful old pet. Riting/writing because it is what I do and it helps me sort things out. I'm not able to write about either OKC or Chewy at this point, but someday I might. For now, I'm concentrating on women's fiction and fleshing out the most screwed up protagonist ever.

I used to be a plotter, use a detailed outline as a roadmap. I could veer off a bit, but I always knew precisely where I was going and how to reach my destination. This character has turned me into a total pantster, and she surprises me every day. Now I get why so many writers prefer this method. It's exciting, challenging, and absolutely maddening. I often wonder why I chose this path, because now not only is my character bonkers--she's driving ME nuts.

What appeals is the adventure. Maybe her journey reflects my own somehow. I know for sure every time she emotes, I feel like I've dropped my pants in public.

Sunny with a chance of ass-kicking

Friend Bubbles made breakfast this morning. What the Aussies call Egg & Toast Soldiers, we say 3-minute boiled egg and toast strips. So coffee, conversation, and healthy breakfast...it was a pleasant way to begin the day. Good thing, because the following hour has sucked.

I'm without a ride and not feeling great anyway, so not attending a monthly writers' meeting this afternoon. One dog has to be put down when schedules can be coordinated and he can be taken to the vet. The other dog won't stop barking. Cat is blissfully unaware dog is barking more because she's obnoxious than because he's present. Son is upset about the noise. My stomach is churning because I'm letting his grouchiness affect my breakfast. 

Couldn't write yesterday because of drill and shop vac noise and DIL asking where her textbooks are so she could resell them. Dryer won't dry. There are bees in the basement, so can't wash clothes anyway. 

If I had orange juice I'd make screwdrivers. This is bullshit.

Hello, Goodbye

Doesn't matter what we ask for. I feel we generally have to go through the search, the meditation, the trauma of achieving...or releasing. I do feel it is better to seek with a selfless heart, even if what we want is for ourselves. We have to weigh the importance against the need. Is this strictly for our own good, or will it benefit or hurt others?

In my case with Chewy, I'm setting aside my desire he remain with me to his declining health and quality of life. As with a favorite character, I can't bargain with The Universe to give me what I want if it's not doable for all concerned.

Tough decision. Goodbye sucks.

Yes. No. Maybe.

 

Fiction is so much more precise than reality. Dorothy Garlock was once asked in my presence what she would do if a character took over her story. Thinking the question absurd, she replied: I would kill them. It's my book. 

If anyone asked me the most difficult part of writing, I'd have to say it is a toss-up between penning emotion (because real emotion comes from my heart, gut, and head--it's personal, and I always feel exposed)...and separating the voices in my head.

There are those writerly voices, the characters, and there are the screams from my subconscious that force me into a corner. If a friend asks: Does this haircut make my ass look fat, I'm not about to tell her to wear a wig until her buzz cut grows out, so I'll say NO and assure her she looks great. If an aging parent makes a decision out of hope and desperation, I'll waffle, trying to find my ground before answering. Time to say goodbye to a beloved pet--the hardest truth to face, but in the best interest of the animal, I won't lie to myself.

With fiction, it's easier to be brutally honest. I'm not killing a character I've created just because he pisses me off if he veers outside his character boundaries, but since the book will have my name on it instead of his, he's not getting by with his crap. 

Maybe it all boils down to ownership and responsibility. I'm responsible for what my characters say and do. It's not that simple when it comes to controlling others' actions, because I don't wish to own their pain.

No, it's not Monday. Just feels like it.

 

Back to writing today

I'm actually in a great mood. The new bed is AWESOME. The new cat is adapting and getting along with the old dogs. Well...as well as cats and dogs get along.

Happy Mother's Day weekend to all, you moms and to the dads who helped make them moms.

Social Media

Like I've said, my writing goals for 2013 include submitting at least 1 new project per month, and since I'm published in long, short, novel, novella, short stories, essays, and what have you... And since I'm a stay-at-home writer... I have no excuses. None I'll accept, anyway.

I also have goals for social media. I dislike dropping my pants unless I am skinny dipping, so this is difficult. Add to that my short term memory issues...it is hard for me to retain new knowledge without a struggle. (By the way, that skinny dipping thing rarely occurs, and not unless I'm sure I won't get caught!

My only goals in SM right now are to keep up with the blog, because writing and life ARE adventurous for me. Even at my age, I learn something new every day. Ha. I just don't recall some of it.

I also have a need to do one or two things better, if not well, so I'm relearning Facebook and Twitter, even if it kills me. I live networking, but it's best I don't learn everything second-hand, so I'm striving to be proactive. Anyone else in the same boat?

Have a great day!

Life Gets In The Way

Or does it? Picture every film you've seen on aging parents, the books you've read on coping with health issues, and articles in magazines on aging pets. Multiply by 10, and you have my last 6 months.

That said, despite getting my parents situated closer to me (he broke a hip and she broke a leg and has other issues requiring 24/7 assistance), WORRYING over big dog with hip problems, smaller dog losing her hearing, and other things...I have managed to write! My goal was for one submission per month, and I had 6 before end of April.

This time last year I was in Australia. Never had time to upload info and pics but will gather steam and get my butt into gear. Stay tuned.

Happy "pico de gayo"--as a friend said to me earlier. And that was her pronunciation.

More later!